♡Male Privilege and Rape Culture♡

Being a young female nearly every day I witness and am occasionally a 'victim' of male privilege. A lot of male friends I have don't necessarily believe that such a thing exists in this day and age but that is simply because they themselves never are negatively effected by it.

To give you a better understanding of what I am talking about, male privilege is saying "I have a boyfriend" being the only thing that stops a man from hitting on you because they have more respect for another man than respect for your lack of interest and rejection. There have been countless amounts of times when I myself go out and have to come up with stories so that a man would leave me alone, this even happens to men that are really nice but they just have this idea that what they want they can have. This has happened to me on numerous occasions as well - a man has become somewhat interested in me and has made out with me without my consent. They did it in not a malicious way and they weren't meaning to be harmful but because they think that it's a 'romantic' thing to do, or, again, because they think they can just get what they want.

There is also the idea of 'cock blocking' - both my friends and I have experienced being called a 'cock block'. We'll be at a bar, pub or club and one of us gets unwelcomed advances from a guy so another one of us steps in to get rid of him, then having them call us a 'cock block'. In actual fact half the time the friend doing the 'cock blocking' was following orders from the friend that the guy is hitting on. When going out we tend to  have two signals for our friends: "I'm into him" and "Help me outta this!!!". The amount of "get me out of here" tactics that women have among their friends should be enough evidence of the fact that rape culture does exist.

I don't want to make this post the length of an essay but just quickly for those who don't know what rape culture is, it is an environment where rape is prevalent and sexual violence against women is normalised and excused in both media and popular culture. This kind of culture is preserved through the use of misogynistic language, objectifying women's bodies and also glamourising sexual violence - this all creates a society that disregards the safety and rights of women. Most women and girls limit their behaviour because of the existence of rape, even unknowingly. Women do this through not walking down certain streets, holding their keys in their hand as a weapon when they walk alone just in case, locking all of their car doors when they get in their care at a parking lot etc and most of this is done without women realising as it has become just a part of their every day routine. This cycle of fear is the legacy of rape culture.

Some examples of rape culture are blaming the victim, triviliasing sexual assault, sexually explicit jokes, tolerance of sexual harassment, publicly scrutinising a victims dress, mental state, motives and history, assuming only promiscuous women get raped, refusing to take rape accusations seriously, assuming that men don't get raped and teaching women how to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape.

While all of this sounds negative and dark there are ways that you can combat rape culture! You can avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women, think critically about the media's messages about women, men, relationships and violence, speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or triviliasing rape and by defining your own womanhood or manhood, not letting stereotypes shape your actions! These are just a few way that we can change society for the better.

Lots of love,

xx

♡Slut Shaming♡

An issue that has been around for a while now that always makes me frustrated is slut shaming. It's not just the ignorant that tend to do it either - I know so many pro-feminist women who have many a bad thing to say about a woman's choices which is ridiculous because there are so many people out there, especially the patriarchal society that we live in, that limits our choices as women and shame us for making choices that they don't approve of themselves.

So for those that don't know what slut shaming is, it is when people judge women for having sex with "too many people", having sex with people that "aren't their partner" and even for wearing particular things or acting a particular way. When it comes to costumes, clothing, and sexual behavior, women are judged by a very different rubric than men. This is not to say that men are't judged at all, because of course they are to some degree but if a woman is to have a lot of sex people label her as a "whore", “dirty”, "slut", etc and many people believe that women with these labels don't deserve to be treated with respect and they also believe that this means they can say whatever they want about that woman or to that woman.

Obvisouly when it comes to men some people may use the terms “manslut” or “manwhore” but the consequences for the  man being called these things are not nearly as extreme and they are not disrespected nearly as much as women who are called similar names. He won’t be degraded, bullied, or have lies and rumours spread about him and his reputation won’t be destroyed in response because I mean, c'mon, that's just what men do right? They can't and shouldn't control their urges, right? They're just sex crazy right? No no no no no. Patriarchy is damaging to men as well as women because of these ideas.

Slut shaming is another way of controlling women and telling them what they are and are not allowed to do. Women who slut shame each other is an example of internalised sexism which is harmful when it comes to women's relationships with each other. After all, women are in this together and instead should be helping each other instead of harming each other.
Slut shaming pits women against each other and creates a divide. Instead of building women up and cultivating healthy friendships, slut shame turns women against each other so that the slut-shamer can prove she’s “not like that” and therefore worthy of respect.  It puts women into harmful categories based on nothing more than how someone dresses or is perceived by others.

It also limits women's freedoms and choices because if a woman "breaks the rules" in regards to how you or society believes, for some bizarre reason, they have to dress and have to behave then you are basically saying that they don't have the same rights as men and cannot do what they want unless they want to "pay the price".

An alarming fact is that because people see “sluts” as unworthy of respect, people believe that they are therefore not entitled to say no.  In this mentality, “sluts” become a target of harassment, assault, and even rape.  After the violence, the woman is occasionally blamed for it.  After all, she was just a dumb slut….she asked for it, right?

I am interested to hear what you guys think!

Lots of love,

♡Issues With Robin Thickes 'Blurred Lines'♡

Hi guys! This post is just short and sweet but I just wanted to share these video with you guys just in case you haven't seen them. They pretty much sum up my opinion of Robin Thicke and his song Blurred Lines.

If after seeing these videos you still don't understand the issue I have with it, comment below and I'll write a more detailed blog post.

xx

♡Sexism in Advertising♡

This post isn't as light-hearted as my other ones because today I am choosing to focus on the portrayal of women in advertising. Now I want to keep this post short and sweet to highlight the more important points and besides, when it comes to issues relating to gender/sexism I could go on for days, it makes me really passionate.

I'll be showing you a collection of recent sexist advertisements from different companies and please remember that these are not the only ones out there - if you think about it they are everywhere. Woman are also sexualised in movies, tv shows and other forms of media, not just in advertising. Many people think that sexism in the media is something of the past but that is simply not the case.

"Becoming a donor is probably your only chance to get inside her"

"You know you're not the first"

These are mainly American adverts but there has recently been an Australian ad that has caused controversy over here:

Masterchef, I assume, attempted to be as witty and on point as a Mad Men episode — but ended up failing miserably, as fans have taken to social media to voice their frustrations. There are of course varying opinions on whether this ad was sexist or not but in this day and age, when we are still fighting so hard for equality, it's not productive at all to be pitting men and women against each other.
It isn't just females that should be offended by this ad, as males are also reduced to silly, out-of-place archetypes as well. It may seem like a bit of harmless fun but this is exactly where all our problems stem from. Gender stereotyping keeps us thinking that 'girls are like this' and 'boys are like that'.

Donald Draper from Mad Men once explained that advertising is the stroking of the ego, sexism and patriarchy are rampant within our society, which advertising capitalises on.

This is just one example of how women are dehumanised and demoralised by society and it is our job as to consumers to stand up to these companies and to say enough is enough.

We need to stop responding to these advertisements the way companies want us to - we need to let them hear our anger, be it through email, mail, phone calls, social media etc. As consumers, we need to be aware of how companies view us, do we want to be purchasing from places that view women in this way? Do we want to be supporting them?Real reform needs to take place.
If none of the above has made you outraged yet, check out this Canadian video too:

And if you have the time, check out this Documentary film, Miss Representation, a film which, "exposes how mainstream media contribute to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America. The film challenges the media's limited and often disparaging portrayals of women and girls, which make it difficult for women to achieve leadership positions and for the average woman to feel powerful herself." It is definitely upsetting and angering but definitely worth watching.

Anyway, on a different note, I booked an appointment for a tattoo appointment for two days away! My next post will show you the before and after pictures and I will talk about the whole experience, so stay tuned!

xx